- a dark place where one goes to insert suppositions and other soft bits.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

clams rockefeller

Jane Espenson has, on a couple of occasions, written about and offered examples of clams. She tells us these are jokes or lines that at first hearing were fresh and funny, but when used repeatedly only serve to display subsequent users' laziness and lack of originality.

I watched 30 Rock for the first time last week. It really is very good. Tina Fey is brilliant. However, I was disappointed when Tracy Morgan's character delivered a line about the Interweb.

They should have dug deeper.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Monday, September 17, 2007

dramatic tension

I've been a screenwriter for a few weeks now. It's not going well. I mean, I spent a fortune on brass brads (and washers), a three hole punch, two reams of 20 lb. paper, two packs of index cards, Final Draft (okay, it's the free trial, but I will buy it if this pans out), and a slew of suggested reading material: Egri, Field, McKee, Seger, Snyder, et al. With all that, you'd think I'd have sold something by now.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

pitch and yawn

The other day I debuted my premise at Starbucks. I think maybe too many rules and an overabundance of dos and don'ts really stifle one's creativity.

Double shots all around.

Friday, September 7, 2007

write what you know

That's what they say. You should also write everyday. There you have it; missions accomplished.

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

craig's list

  • I am not gay.
  • I never have been gay.
  • I don't do these kinds of things. 
  • I do, however, wipe my ass with toilet paper I pick up from the floor of public restrooms.
Now that's conservative.

the inciting incident

I'm self employed. I build web based software. I hate my job. Well, maybe not hate. I've made millions of dollars (did I say millions? I meant hundreds) and it has provided a lifestyle worthy of mention by Robin Leach (did I say Robin Leach? I meant it's made me a leach) but it's just so frivolous and meaningless, and pointless and frivolous, and boring and meaningless and well, you know what I mean I'm sure. I had hoped my contribution would be much greater.

The other day my wife and I bumped into Michael Bublé (we live in the same building). We had a nice chat about the Canucks, Tony Bennet, Oprah, his new CD, and how our building's elevators are so slow. I actually hadn't noticed, but he brought it up.

Anyway, after he got off, I thought about our little three-way for a second or two. I'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world.

Someday you'll understand that.

The Suppositoreum ©2007